I found out today that I didn’t get the job at Burger King. I still haven’t heard from Hemtjänsten so I am a bit worried I might not get that one either. And if I don’t, then I won’t have a job for the summer, no income, a very expensive rent and a lot to pay when it comes to my next abroad experience… I know I’ve learned to be optimistic about everything, but right now it is very hard. No one wants to hire me and it is totally getting to my head! It really means that there was someone a little bit better than me, but it’s not a very comforting thought right now.

I’ve gotten a lot more emails from Cal Poly with information. I haven’t gotten answers about how to get an apartment/room yet, but it seems like I need to pay $1100 right away as a deposition. How the fuck will I get that kind of money when I barely have enough to pay my own rent here in Sweden? How will I be able to buy a plane ticket to even go to the US? Or the visa? I will get a 25 000 kr grant from Chalmers, but not before November which is bullshit. That money is supposed to help us exchange students to pay for the flight ticket and so on. Bullshit!

I’ve also found out that to apply for specific classes at CalPoly (May 9th) I need to provide the professor syllabi and grades to show him/her that I have the right prerequisites. I can’t explain how much I want all these preparations to be over. I just wanna be there and have everything figured out. This is almost overwhelming with everything else that is going on.

It is very obvious that my streak of luck is long gone…

I tried to study some structural engineering at school today and it actually went okay. I solved two problems in like four hours but then I found out I didn’t get the job and spent the last hour playing on my phone. So I decided to go home instead. Have a little dinner and then join mom at the gym for an hour of yoga.

It was a tough class today and it hurt. In my mouth! This stupid wisdom tooth hole is still hurting pretty bad. It’s been more than a week. It should be okay by now!

I want to go to Kent’s concert here in Gothenburg on June 1st. But the problem still stands, no money=nothing. I really hate being in this situation where money means everything and the lack of it is ruining my life. I am getting back to my old self who worries, I am sad and can’t see the optimistic side of things. Not good. I need something good to happen! Like now, please!

Oh, right, the title. Today was mom’s 50th birthday! She didn’t seem that old when I met her so I think she will be fine 🙂 No party today, but she wanted to celebrate by doing yoga. And tomorrow she gets the day off because she is turning 50 or 60. I like that company, they are very nice and generous with days off. Happy birthday again, world’s best mother! ❤