I could let you think that the lack of posts the past couple of days has been because I’ve been studying, but it wouldn’t feel right to do that. Yesterday I was actually out drinking a little bit. Probably wasn’t the best of ideas two nights before a huge test. But I seriously haven’t been feeling the urge to study. I’ve gone through all the old tests (not solving the problems, but remembering where to find all the equations in the books and in wich order they all come). I’ve read through all the theory questions and written new summaries of all the different types of problems, and I feel like that is what I can do with this motivation (or lack of).

I am disappointed in myself, this was supposed to be my triumph. 75% of school, so I would have had more time to focus on this stupid course, but no. I’ve done everything but. When I was in London i secretly gave up. I have been trying since, but not wholeheartedly. And I will not be disappointed when I don’t pass this one.

I will go there tomorrow, do my best, and hope for problems that I know how to solve. I am really good at some of them (I actually solved one of them yesterday without the answer key), but the problems are random, and so far I’ve been in extreme unluck. So maybe this third time will be right!

Even if I don’t pass I will be so relieved to be done with this stress. I am gonna try to do a little almost every day of the summer, get deeper understanding of the subject, and try again in the end of August.

I didn’t study much today, but instead I got some visa preparations done. I paid another stupid fee, the one called SEVIS (or  I-901). I have no idea what it is for, but $180 is now gone from my bank account… I have been looking into when i should go to the US Embassy. It would be awesome to go on 1st class by train with my brother when he is working on July 22nd. But Chad isn’t in Sweden 22-23, and I don’t want to spend almost two days in Stockholm by myself. So I asked him when he could join me. So maybe 11-12 of June. Or my third option, going with the 5am train on the 11th, go to the Embassy at 9:30am and go back home in the afternoon. It will be a tough day, but I think that is the easiest option if I don’t have any company.

I am missing five things to bring to the embassy (I hope I haven’t forgotten anything); Proof of Fiancial Aid (which I will get from Chalmers tomorrow), SEVIS reciept (which I will print tomorrow), Confirmation of appointment at the Embassy (I can’t get this until I’ve made the appointment), Extract of the population register (I will have to call Swedish Tax Agency tomorrow and ask them to send on to me, and a printed photo. I am waiting for someone with Photoshop to fix the background. It’s not that much left until I have a new USA Visa page in my Passport 🙂
I really need to go to bed now and read through some of my notes again. I am surprisingly calm about tomorrow. I remember getting all hyped up about exams two years ago…